A glimpse of hope was that our bus does a loop around and swings back. I’ve seen our bus driver stop to pick up our little neighbor kid… he’s even stopped 2 times for me when Mo forgot his glasses and Daniella her lunchbox. I’ve never seen our bus driver smile - the kids always say he’s strict (which isn’t a bad thing). Well, today as we waved him down - he drove off & waved good-bye. The other mom’s were just as surprised as I was! Oooohh! Why today? There was so much to do! Mia’s sign class at 9am, mommy friends from class were coming over for lunch, a home delivery at 1pm, pick up 2 of my kids from school at 2:45pm and another after choir practice at 4pm…
I mumbled a few choice words under my breath, barked a few orders to my kids to help clean up their mess & jumped in the shower! My kids CAUGHT ME saying, “I can’t believe he didn’t stop the bus…” and one of them said, “I know he’s mean… “ As I was in the shower a moment of clarity came over me. It’s not his fault (the bus driver)… it’s our fault for being late. Why was I mad that he didn’t stop? He didn’t have to!
How often do we find ourselves displacing anger and frustration? Blaming others is so much easier than blaming yourself. I've witnessed my kids do this and I've called them out on it... now here I was, doing the same thing! This was a teaching moment for my little people… to take responsibility. I was CAUGHT. And not in a good way. Every day we teach our kids, even when we don’t know it! I truly believe that kids learn a lot about life not only by what is TAUGHT to them… but what is CAUGHT by them! How we treat others… how we react to good or bad news… the words we say under our breath… our daily actions.
I apologized and explained to my kids that what happened wasn’t about the bus driver… it was about us being late and we couldn’t be mad at anyone else but ourselves! I took responsibility and didn’t blame anyone. How can I teach responsibility of my actions if I don’t accept responsibilities for my actions!?
We prayed about it and started driving down the road. LATE for school, still rushing! On the way to school Mia gagged on a cookie and threw up in the process… SERIOUSLY, why today? She didn’t even ask for the cookie… I gave it to her!
I thought about just stopping at the store on base to buy Mia a new shirt… but nothing opened until 9 (and that‘s when her Baby Sign Language class started)… so instead I decided to drive towards her SIGN CLASS and go to the Shoe Mart store on the way, only to discover that it opened at 9:30. Yeah - it was one of those “NOTHINGS GOING YOUR WAY” kind of day, and it was only 9:05am! Home was only about 10 minutes up the hill and I started rushing (again) up the hill thinking maybe I can make the last half of the class. I looked in the rear view mirror and my sweet baby girl was fast asleep.
I turned the van around, sat in the parking lot of where her SIGN class was and just STOPPED! I stopped rushing. I stopped fussing! I just stopped. I decided to just wait for my friends - they don’t have cellphones and in the rush I forgot mine at home. There are moments in life that we don’t know why things happen… but eventually lead up to that AHHH haaa moment. It was coming and I wasn’t even expecting it!
Mia’s heavy breathing soothed me. I took out a book and started reading. Then like a quiet whisper I heard it over the radio (JOY 92)… GOD IS SO GOOD, GOD IS SO GOOD, HE’S SO GOOD TO ME! This was my Lola’s (filipino for Grandma) favorite song... I sat there and just cried, one of those really good cleansing cries and mourned the loss of my Lola. She was 92 years old & recently passed away.
It was a surprise blessing in my day because I heard Lola's song, an old hymn with a simple message. Blessed because that song CAUGHT my attention to hear this message that followed…
As her song ended a voice over the radio read Pslams 46:10 - “BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD, THE LORD ALMIGHTY IS WITH US.” Wow! That was it… everything led to this very moment. I know that for a fact! I needed to BE STILL to be reminded of how through everything - HE IS ALWAYS WITH US!
I was caught… CAUGHT in a moment of GOD’s amazing love!
This morning my kids were the first ones at the bus stop. When the bus did the loop around Mia & I waved… the bus driver waved back and smiled. I couldn’t help but smile and think how 24 hours ago I was so CAUGHT UP in my own RUSH, in my own world. He’ll never know the role he played that lead to my “moment“ yesterday. Just like we’ll never know how our lives effect others by what we do or what we say. I thanked God today for blessing my life even when things aren’t going my way!
I pray that you will find your blessing today … and every day! They’re there… just open your eyes and accept them!
This is dedicated to my LOLA! I heard your song Lola and truly felt God’s love. Thank you for your love and devotion to our family and for always shining GODS light in your life! I miss you so much and still learning every day that through life’s daily challenges… GOD IS SO GOOD, HE’S SO GOOD TO ME!
Mrs. Susana Montañano Decena passed to her rest peacefully at 3:15 AM, November 17, 2008 at the North York General Hospital (Toronto, Ontario, Canada) She was 92 years old. She leaves to mourn her loss: 8 children, 18 grandchildren, and 15 great-grandchildren . Her husband Silvino Decena Sr.predeceased her.
1 comment:
sometimes, He does make us listen!
Miss you and love you all!
Post a Comment