It's how you get up!

"I've never had a child score 100% in every subject... I just wish he'd take MORE risks"
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"He's Crazy! But crazy GOOD! He needs to slow down and take his time"

"I'm so glad she's in my class this year!!! She likes to help out in the class and loves to read!"

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We were so please to hear the teachers comments on each of our kids. Living here for over 2 1/2 months I'd say the kids have adjusting JUST FINE to all the changes. New School. New Teachers. New Home. New Location. In fact, they were all selected to TEST for the Gifted Education Program offered at their school. Yeah!

Sept 2002

I snapped this photo of Morgan on his first day of school (Montessori Laboratory School in Chesapeake, Va). "C'mon Mommy, let's go to school now" as he motioned for me to follow him into the classroom. His smile was forced here as I'm sure he was anxiously figuring out that he was staying there without me. He cried and reached for my hand... and I cried as I walked away. THAT WAS HARD! I couldn't wait to pick him up 4 hours later!

Sept 2003 -

One year later... Ryan also cried on his first day of school... but he was fortunate enough to have his big brother with him to help him transition to Montessori Life!

Sept 2004 -

Yes, Daniella also cried when I dropped her off on her 1st day of preschool. By then I was used to the drama and couldn't figure out why each one of my kids cried on their 1st day. Amazingly when we switched over to "morning car drop off's"... she confidently walked away from ME. I'm sure it has to do with her leaving me and not being left! Of course, when she didn't even look back at me in the van... I drove away with tear filled eyes!

... first time for all 3 in school! WOW!

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FLASH FORWARD and here we are... 5 - 7 years later from the kids first days of school... Where did the time go?

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As we sat down with Mo's 5th grade teacher - she is amazed by how well he is doing and scoring 95 - 100% in all subjects. Then she said, "... but I just wish he would take more risks and speak up and step up as a LEADER in the class".

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Then she said (which surprised me) "I bet you don't let your son climb trees". Coincidently, just that morning Morgan was climbing the tree in our front yard and all I kept saying was, "Morgan get down, you might fall!" Then she points at me and says, "I feel like I can talk to you like a sister... YOU'RE HOLDING HIM BACK. You have to let him go... let him FALL... allow him to take risks - because when you do that he will be MORE CONFIDENT!"

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What? Let my baby fall? But my job is to keep him safe, right? But what she's saying makes sense to me, too. Are my words of protection holding him back? Am I sending him a message saying, "I don't believe you can do this, so just get down!"

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She drew a pyramid on a piece of paper and circled the top and said, "This is 10% of what we teach our kids... the bottom 90% is learned by "doing"... research, hands on, standing up front... being allowed to FAIL and learn from experimenting!"

BE A LEADER TODAY is what Dale tells the kids every morning. As they look out into the world... I want them to know that they can do ANYTHING if they just BELIEVE! They have to GET IN THE GAME... and TAKE THAT SHOT if they ever want to score!

We have 4 amazing kids... and they are all so different! And I LOVE THAT about them! Everyone wants to be heard and have a say... and the one that seems to always quietly observe is my MO! He never rushes into anything... even when he was young. Quick example... when I would take the boys to the play area in the mall - even before we could get there and find a place to put the stroller... Ryan's shoes and socks are off and full speed ahead! He's quickly playing with all the other kids... while Mo stood right by my side and waited and observed everything around him until I would say, GO PLAY! Sometimes I'd even have to push him to go...

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Morgan still talks about our summer in Michigan at FAMILY CAMP at Camp Au Sable. My parents came with us to help watch Mia who was only 5 months old. As I looked back at some of the pictures... they are very telling! There is confidence in my boy! Look at the picture below... BIG SMILE, in the center, confidently standing with his arms out - and this was an impromptu picture taken of the kids with my parents!

He loved his woodworking class where he got to spend time with PopPop and build a step stool, which is wide enough for him that he does his homework on it. He is so proud of that stool and the fact that he helped make it!! ... hmmm, hands on and doing...

The Zip Line and the Swing and Climbing Wall were all HIGH RISK adventures. But it also builds confidence and trust! Even though you have a helmet and ropes to hold you... the climb up is pretty scary... look how high it is! Again... doing, learning... building confidence!!!!

We are literally HALF WAY done raising our boy! He is 10 years old. He will be an adult before we know it! Half way! Dale says that by the time we leave Guam - Morgan may be just as tall or taller than him!

There are benches along the nature boardwalk around the lake at Camp Au Sable. Each bench has a bible verse engraved... Here my boys are reading, "FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD THAT HE GAVE HIS ONLY SON". Can you imagine having to GIVE up your child? It reminds me of a story of a mom's decision during the Tsunami a few years ago. The story/interview told: Water was everywhere and she was clinging tightly to her two sons. She couldn't hold much longer to both of them and had to make a quick decision of who to let go. My heart feels ripped just thinking if that were me having to make that decision... she decided to hold on to the younger son hoping & praying that the older son would somehow survive. She and her youngest son survived. She mourned the loss of the one she let go... 2 weeks later they were all miraculously reunited. HE SURVIVED, held onto a floating door, alone. For God So Loved the World... man, as a mommy now - that verse holds so much meaning! God's love is so amazing!

Let him take risks.... Let him fail so he can learn from his mistakes... This picture of the kids on the boardwalk is one of my favorites at Camp. Hmmm... and look who's walking confidently in the front. LEADING. That's my growing boy... my man child! (Ryan is on the left, my god-daughter Sabrina is in the center & Dani is on the right)

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After a full week of campfires, daily worship & praise, woodworking, learning archery, fun canoe trips, exploring & the excitement of HIGH ADVENTURE. Confidence was built without even trying... all because it was hands-on learning. Morgan's teacher had the guts to tell me how it is... to CUT THE CORD and reminded me that it's okay to let him FAIL. Let him fall!

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... afterall, it's not HOW you fall... but HOW you find the strength to GET UP and try again!

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Thank you Mrs. Santos for that reminder! I so needed that!

Mommy was watching...

Today I'm thankful for good neighbors. Today I'm thankful that my daughter knows her home phone number. Today I'm thankful for my kids "safety adults".

It's parent/teacher conference week. The kids get out of school at 11:15am. The bus drop off time at the house is 12:21. My phone rings at 11:30 -

"Mommy, are you picking me up today?" It's my sweet 2nd grader on the phone. I look at the clock here at home and I realize she's there, I'm here - 30 minutes away - my boys are on the bus ride home. Clearly she missed the bus and waiting for me in the CAR rider line. My first thought was - Don't panic!

"Bridget's mommy is here" she says.

Feeling relieved, I asked to talk to her... and together the mommy's figure it out and PLAN B is established. I'm thankful that another mommy was watching out for my kid... and didn't just drive off and pick up her kid and leave mine behind to figure things out.

My Mom, Dani (2yrs) & me

FLASHBACK - I remember waiting for my mom. It was cold. There was traffic and a very nice crossing guard. Most likely, she was a Mommy who was watching out for all of us. I felt safe with her, even though I was crying and scared. We lived in Philadelphia. I was in kindergarten. No cellphones. I waited. I cried. I waited... and I still remember it today. I remember feeling scared... not knowing what to do. My mom worked nights as a nurse while my dad was in his residency. She'd nap when she could and then took care of my brother & I. That day she overslept. When she finally arrived - I was so happy to see her beautiful face! I'm not sure how she did what she did... work nights and cook/clean/care for us when she needed to be sleeping!

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Working mom's... how do they balance it? Being a mommy is truly a full time position as far as I'm concerned! Right now, my J-O-B is being a Mommy to my 4 kids. I'm blessed to be able to spend the time with my kids and raise them! I do the best I can to raise them right. Teach them good manners. Do the laundry, clean the house, cook their meals... Afterall, I learned from the best (my own momma!) and she stayed home with us and raised us. (I think after 1st grade... my mom was home with us full time)... she kept busy raising us ... running us around to music lessons, gymnasitcs & karate... all the while volunteering A LOT in our community!

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From one mommy to another... I hope your kids are always safe. Do your kids know their safety adult? Do they know their home phone number? Your cellphone number? Talk to your kids and tell them who their "safety adults" are. We've established that here and they know who they are.

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In big amusement parks, malls or crowded areas I don't just put a card in my kids pocket and say, "here's our phone number in case we get separated"... things happen. I actually take a sharpie pen and WRITE our names on their leg or arm and our cellphone numbers ON them. Yes, I have been known to do that - especially when they were younger. Crowds make me nervous - especially when I'm outnumbered and I'm only one adult to 4 kids. Thankfully my 3 kids are older now... but I just don't take these things forgranted! No parent should. There should ALWAYS be a plan! One of our family "PLANS" is... if you need help... look for someone who looks like a MOMMY with kids. Ask them to help you.

If you have a wanderer that makes you nervous, like Ryan was when he was 3 or 4... try this one. From a distance, allow your child to wander off - while you keep a close eye on him/her. See how long it takes for them to notice that they're lost. I did that at Busch Gardens in Williamsburg with Ryan... I still remember the panic in his face and how he didn't know which way to go or where to turn. He cried and I slowly approached him and said, "I'm here... Mommy was watching you the whole time"...

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OOohh, if we could only hold on to them...

FOREVER! ... safe!

Daddy holding Dani (4yrs old). When do our kids stop holding tight? I want them to hold on as long & as tight as they can... she's already 7 and I feel like the time is quickly passing!! This photo was taken 3 years ago... and I still remember taking it! TODAY I'M SO THANKFUL FOR ALL THE MOMENTS I'M GIVEN WITH MY KIDDOS! They are my little gifts from GOD!

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... to all the mommy's out there WATCHING out for your kids & the safety of your neighbors kids and your kids friends. Thank you! Together we will keep our kids safe!

Did she just ask me that?

We have a beautiful 3.5 mile loop here at LeoPalace. I've driven it and thought - "wow, this is hilly". Not sure how Mia would do in her stroller I've waited and put it off. Today we decided to go - so as I was rushing around in the house to get Mia ready to meet the other 2 ladies walking... I bang my elbow on the door frame. "Ouch" I say to myself... then a little voice asked, "You okay?" I look down and see Mia staring at me... and I think... WOW, did she just ask me that? Amazing!

It's all fun until someone pokes an eye out!

... and so it begins... the sisterly LOVE that I watch between my two girls! Entertained even when only ONE is awake! Am I a bad mommy for allowing this moment to take place... and laughing in the process... much less capturing it on video?! I'm sorry - but it's just so cute to see moments like these. No one was hurt... and they did TAKE TURNS! It's only fair!

Dani fell asleep on the couch one night... and look who I found "entertaining herself"! Oh Mia... you just crack me up!

... the next night - Mia fell asleep on the couch... and then PAYBACK!

Dani LOVES her baby sister so much that I think Mia can do anything to her and she wouldn't be upset or mad! Maybe the 6 year difference between them will keep them from ever really fighting... who knows?! I still remember coming home from one of my ultra-sound appointments, Dani was in Kindergarten - the technician said, "looks like you're having a boy... but it is a bit early to tell... but I would put money on it". I told Dani the news. With confidence she looked at me and said, "Mommy, I prayed for a sister, I know it's a girl".

I felt so bad for her because I was convinced the tech was right.... until weeks later during my DETAILED ultrasound at MUSC (being of my advanced maternal age for bearing children... ha)... I was prepared to hear them say once more... "it's a boy". Instead she said, "Congratulations... ITS A GIRL!" I about fell out onto the floor! WOW! A girl! I was so excited to tell Dani that I went straight to her kindergarten class (I was a big volunteer in SC)... whispered the news to my sweet baby girl and she just looked at me confidently and said, "I know".

kaba . boogie . pak

Kaba Modern . Boogie Bots . Fanny Pak - do these names mean anything to you?

Our boys LOVED America's Next Dance Crew... so we surprised them this weekend to see them LIVE here on Guam.

Boogie Bots from DC represented the EAST coast!!

... and Fanny Pak (above) & Kaba Modern (below) came in from California!

The kids would've LOVED to have stayed afterwards to meet the dancers... but we had to leave and get to bed so we could wake up early (5am) to run at the 17th Annual PIC 5K, 10K & 1/2 Marathon Run. We had a fun time together as a family - even when it started raining to cool us off in the last 15 minutes.

Do we all look sleepy here? If so, it's because we WERE! It's 5 in the morning!


... we hung out to see if we could possibly win ANOTHER trip in the raffle drawings. (Korea & Australia trips). NO LUCK this time! But Ryan did do the challenge course while we were all in the party and ended up winning 2 free PIC waterpark day passes for completing the obstacle course. That little go-getter kept sneaking out to see if he could compete against all the older kids... and without any of us present... HE DID IT... came back in and sat downwith us... and next thing we know his name is being called on the microphone! Way to go kiddo!

... it's been awhile

I'm back! What a slacker - I haven't been keeping up with our blog! In between birthday parties, school and every day moments - I'll try to do better! Here are a few pics...

Dani with her little girlfriends at our neighbor's birthday party at Princess Jolie. Braided hair & painted nails were the highlight of the day! I'm so happy to see that our sweet girl is adjusting to our move!

... she even had her very first sleepover with her friend Bridget!

Mia enjoyed eating the cookie she helped decorate!

The kids are making wonderful friends at our church...

... Mia the Explorer has been enjoying her new locks!! It's so funny to see her walking around shaking her hair! Her new words this week: Dowwaahh (Dora), Batpap (backpack) & ELMO

Unplugged

Growing up with an older brother I got teased and silently tortured a lot! It’s some kind of rite of passage I think with older siblings. Trips in the car is a vivid memory of my past. “Mom, he touched me” – did you ever have that “last touch” battle with your brother or sister? Punch, hit, arm slap, leg tap… followed by the light tap back and forth until it's barely a touch but in your mind you know you had the "last touch". “Dad, he’s bothering me again”. Problem solved. My dad decided to move my bro to the front seat. Sounded like a great idea until he pulled the sunshade down and opened the mirror just to STARE at me through the mirror. “Dad, he’s looking at me!” Oh, my poor parents!

Payback. Now I’m a mommy of FOUR – and the youngest is still too cute to be messed with – but I’m sure that will all change very soon! “I’m sitting by Mia”, “She sat by Mia last time, it’s my turn”. Then there’s my little man – the feely touchy kid who needs to be ON TOP of you! “Mommy, he won’t move over!”

Fortunately our van is equipped, as many of yours are – with a DVD player. Key in ignition, movie on – AHHHhhhh PEACEFUL ride. We even have the headphones that are wireless so they can hear it and we can listen to the radio or a CD. Ooh if only we had this growing up. When we first got it the rule was: WE WILL NOT WATCH THE TV EVERY SINGLE TIME WE’RE IN THE VAN! Just on long trips. Yeah, right! DVD = PEACE. Sometimes momma just needs a little peace & quiet. Don’t judge!

On those “good momma” days – I remember the rule and allow my kids to be “UNPLUGGED”. Just to hear them talk and find out about their day. I drove them to school this morning and got to spend some real “quality time” with my four. These are the “in between” MOMENTS IN TIME that I LOVE!

Radio turned on to JOY 92… our local Seventh-Day Adventist Radio Station. It’s so nice to have a good Christian Radio Station right here on Guam. Good music, good health tips... I turned down the radio and ask the kids:

Momma: “If someone asked you about being SDA, what would you say?”

Morgan: “Many are vegetarian”

Momma: “Yes, we have a Health message… like not eating any unclean meats like Pork and shellfish. Also staying away from harmful things like tobacco & alcohol. Did you know that some people smoke and some people just put the tobacco right in between their cheeks & gums?”

Ryan: “Really?”

Momma: “Yes, do you remember our computer guy that used to come over to our house to fix our computer? He always chewed Tobacco and carried around a cup to spit into it…. gross, isn’t it?”

Daniella: “Is that why Daddy spits a lot?”

Momma: “No sweetie, your daddy doesn’t chew Tobacco”

Daniella: “But mommy, he loves Tobasco”

Momma: (laughing)… “Ooh, no Dani, that’s different that’s Tobasco a spicy sauce – I’m talking about Tobacco”

Ryan: “Daddy spits a lot because he has a lot of phlegm”

Lovely conversation to start off our morning, don’t you think? I love our unplugged moments! Try unplugging your kids sometime and hear what they'll say!

Daddy's Home

... as Dale walked through the door from work - we were all in the living room doing different things when we heard Mia clearly say, "Daddy's home". WOW! Definitely Daddy's little girl!

boonie stompin'

A "boonie stomp" (Guahan for a hike). We started at Two Lovers Point... approximately 30 of us... our new friends from the Ypao-Ordot SDA Church. Then started walking in water, over sharp limestone rocks, then through the jungle to Lost Pond - with our Crocs, mind you. My kids absolutely LOVED the adventure! Mia rode on my back the entire time. My little water baby LOVED "stompin'" through the water. Some tried to take the "high grounds" and hike up and through the jungle... but when it started raining on us it really didn't matter which way you went... wet is wet! Although Daddy Dale missed his Saturday "lay activities" (nap)... I could tell he really enjoyed himself today! It was a GREAT way to experience this beautiful island we live on!

I pray daily that our kids will know and feel GOD's awesome LOVE as they walk through their journey of LIFE. As we "stomped" along today - I couldn't help but feel HIS presence! Today's adventure is an example of what it is to be a CHRISTIAN. As I read the 1st paragraph of this blog I see that the journey is this: We started at Two Lovers Point. God loves us... if we love HIM in return - we will want to know more by reading HIS word!


Our walk led us to the water... sometimes the water was smooth, sometimes it was rough... there were sharp rocks and weaving paths through the jungle... and a place called LOST POND. HELLO, that is the journey we all go through! How many times have you felt "sharp rocks" in your life and felt like you arrived at lost pond? Down the wrong path... with the wrong crowd! As a parent, I do worry about the choices of friends my kids will make, the sharp rocks that will come their way. Today, my kids ran off ahead of us - their excitement got the BEST of them. When I saw them 20 - 30 minutes later - they were laughing, playing - HAPPY. They showed me some of the cuts on their legs and hands from the journey. They smiled because the journey was worth it! Mia rode on my back... others held hands to make it up the hills and through the water... we were guided by those who have "walked the path" before us. Everyone needed someone today. I was relieved to know that we were surrounded with GOOD people, GOOD leaders. I pray that my kids will know the importance of the company they keep!! And through the CALM and ROUGH waters - GOD will always be there!


Carmen, Mia & I. My new friend & walking partner at LEO.
Thank You Carmen for inviting us to your church today and introducing us to your beautiful family & wonderful church family!!! It was a GREAT day!


This final video clip is my favorite of all - so glad I took it! Doesn't Dale look like he's some kind of LOST survivor? For a brief moment, as we entered the water - it started to rain. We both just laughed! Most Saturday afternoons you'd find Dale taking a well-deserved afternoon nap. NOT TODAY, Honey! Sometimes we have to get ALL WET to get the full experience!

Trick or Treat

I have been TRICKED by these sweet faces and smiling eyes...

... each of them with their very own unique NINJA powers & personalities

... sensitive, funny, smart, charming...

My heart has been changed forever!

and what a TREAT it has been!

amazED

My dad - Dr. EDward L. Pan. My little man - Ryan EDward.

9 years ago when we gave our little man my dad's namesake I didn't realize it would be MORE than just a name they shared! Seriously! If anyone has met my dad they are surprised how Ryan can sometimes look like him... share similar mannerisms... energetic like my dad (rarely sits still) and surprisingly for a little man - he can SNORE like my dad! Every day I'm amazED by my Ryan, afterall - he is my little 2 pound miracle!

5 years ago we celebrated my dad's retirement from his Orthopaedic practice!!! Dad has been LOVING life after retirement... the joke with him is sometimes he forgets what day it is... NOW THAT'S ENJOYING LIFE! And Dad - you deserve it! Thank you for the GREAT life you've provided for us growing up!!! We have been so blessed by your hard work throughout the years!

Dale & I with my parents and my older brother - Len

(above) Dr. Dethoff paging through the memory album

(below) DAD with his partners...

Summer of 2003 - My family at Hidden Valley - where I grew up in Pennsylvania.

(Dale's parents visiting from San Diego for Dad's retirement party)

Well last night Ryan came running to me asking if I could look up a website for him. www.edheads.com an educational site that is very interactive! (um, how ironic that the site is named EDheads... ) I watched my little man perform KNEE SURGERY online. I'm amazED by this site! Hmmm, perhaps this is my future surgeon and he's following after my dad's footsteps! Until them, I'll let my little Dr. Ryan try a few hip replacements and see if he truly loves Orthopaedics like his PopPop!

Trunk or Treat

My little Ninja's were excited to get out of the house and hang out with other ninjas, knights, hippies, princesses, cheerleaders, pirates, ELMO... and my favorite of all was a little girl dressed up as the Statue of Liberty!


Face painting, cupcake decorating, mummy wrapping, photo card creations, jump castles and the main event - decorating the trunk of your car/van/truck and providing a safe environment for our kids to "trunk or treat". GREAT EVENT Oakleaf Club (this is the Officer Spouses Club of the families who work at the US Naval Hospital)

Since my kids were Ninja's... I decided to give our trunk an Asian Theme. So I grabbed a few accessories from the house, threw in a red blanket and some accent lighting. Last minute I added the Mirror knowing that the kids would get a kick out of looking at themselves all dressed up. It certainly drew them in!

We ended up "winning" the BEST TRUNK ! A cool dancin' skeleton dude! Mia LOVES watching it shake!

My little China doll!

... Mia update ...

Hi ... it's me, Mia! Just wanted to share some pics of things we've been up to this week. Mommy and I spend a lot of time at home still organizing and going through lots of things... she says, "It's never-ending"... what does that mean? I distract her a lot so I think it will take her awhile to do what she needs to do! I'm still not sleeping in my crib... ha ha! I've got them all wrapped around my little chubby finger! It's fun to just wake up and walk out of my room, I feel so grown up! Maybe mommy and daddy will forget all about my crib and just let me sleep on the bottom bunk!

We went to Daddy's work yesterday and watched him get a cool looking medal. There were a lot of people there and mommy said I was being "too loud", I just loved hearing my voice echo in those hospital hallways. Mom Mom and Pop Pop taught me how to use my voice and sing loud - so that's what I do! What does "be quiet" mean? It just makes me want to sing LOUDER!

Daddy got a Meritorious Service Medal for being a good leader in South Carolina while assigned as Director for Branch Clinics at the Naval Health clinics. Yeah Daddy! Does that mean you're going to put another pretty ribbons on your uniform? Ah man, those poke me sometimes!


Last week we went to McCool School and met Ryan's new teacher Mrs. Sheedy. She just moved from Japan. It was fun to see where my big brothers and sister go to school.

... over the weekend we went swimming at the nice hotel pool here at our Paradise Home... Leo Palace! It was fun sliding down the slide with my big brothers! And then after church (mommy didn't have her camera)... we all went to this TRAVEL FAIR and they were doing something called "raffle drawings". Ryan had a winning ticket for a trip to the island of YAP. Airline tickets for two (thank you Continental Airlines) plus hotel stay at Villiage View for 4 days/3 nights... apparently right on the beach and a few diving excursions included in the package! That should be a fun trip!

Well, that's it for now. If you want to find us... I'm usually hangin' out here at my house with my mommy. There's always LOTS to do! Yesterday I was chasing a frog... can you see it in the picture? Come by and play with me...